📰 New article from Retro Handhelds
Next Level #4: Bard-’em’up
https://retrohandhelds.gg/next-level-4-bard-emup/
Next Level #4: Bard-’em’up — A Game Announcer’s Fever Dream (in the Best Way)
One week away from the internet—and bam—a dozen games arrive like uninvited guests at a basement LAN party, all demanding attention and smelling faintly of CRT glow and regret.
We’re talking Haunted Lands, a DOS-core platformer that’s basically Dangerous Dave meets Doom on PCP, and ZENEKO, a Metal Slug-obsessed horizontal shooter that’s clearly been watching too much anime and drinking too much espresso. Then there’s The Dungeons of Dusk, a cozy-ish turn-based dungeon crawler that somehow makes Doom RPG feel温柔 (gentle)—yes, really.
And let’s not gloss over the real highlights:
- Ruiner 2, now a full co-op cyberpunk ARPG with Shell System chaos.
- Stage Tour, the plastic-guitar rhythm game from Guitar Hero alumni—because we needed another live-service music sim.
- Verminsteel, the Bardcore hack-and-slash where you literally kick fascists into the sun (we’re all just waiting for the Dragonforce DLC).
Also: He-Man gets a full-blown 80s power ballad trailer. You heard me.
If your backlog isn’t already weeping, it will be soon.
🔥 What caught your eye? Which of these are you actually pre-ordering (or just pretending to)? Drop your picks—and your regrets—below.